You probably have noticed by now that I read a lot of books. I have recently read a lot of books on multiples, so I wanted to take a break and read something else. So yesterday I was browsing a book that was recommended by avid reader Gretchen Rubin. The book is called Eyes Wide Open (affiliate link). I was interested in the book because I have a dear family friend with a degenerative eye disease called Retinitis Pigmentosa. The author of Eyes Wide Open, Isaac Lidsky, also has the disease. Despite becoming blind at age 25, Isaac went to law school, clerked for a Supreme Court Justice, successfully transitioned out of practicing law and also has four children.
I was skimming the book and was surprised to see that actually, three of his children are triplets. And not only are they triplets, but they were delivered early because of poor blood flow in one of the triplets’ placental cords. This is exactly what happened to us. Sometimes it’s just scary how kindred life stories come around and find you when you least expect it.
I loved a particular description in the book and I thought I’d share it with anyone pregnant with multiples. I think it’s a great way of putting words to feelings I had when I was pregnant with triplets. The feeling has to do with waiting periods in between ultrasounds. When I was pregnant with the triplets, I felt like I was just living for the next ultrasound. It felt like I was holding on to one buoy of safety from the day I saw the triplets’ hearts beating last until the next appointment where I would feel safe again seeing their hearts continuing to beat on the ultrasound screen. Here is Isaac’s description of the time when his wife was on hospital bedrest being monitored for poor placental blood flow in triplet Baby C:
It was a difficult time, a new cycle driving life. Pressure released every two or three days at Baby C’s doppler exam, the world expanding with gratitude and relief. Then the endless wait for the next exam, pressure mounting, the world collapsed into a tunnel, sleepless nights imagining a wave of water flowing forcefully, encountering a wall and bouncing back upon itself.”
If you are pregnant with multiples and you feel like you can’t bear the time in between ultrasounds, take heart. Do what you can to distract yourself. And if all else fails, know that there are kindred spirits out there– sometimes where you least expect it. There are people who understand how it feels and who can be there for you when the pressure mounts and it feels like it will never release again.