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The Type A Mom of Multiples

Helping organized parents use their Type A tendencies to prepare for an enjoyable life with multiples

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Money Savers I Wish I Had Known About Sooner

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Here are some tips I wish I had known when I was starting to fret about finances with triplets. 

Formula

  1. Certain retailers allow you to combine formula checks for just one can of formula. For example, if you have a $17 can of formula and two $5 checks for formula, you can put both checks towards that single can of formula, making it cost $7. Where I live, Target doesn’t allow this, but Food Lion and Walmart have allowed me to do it. To receive formula checks in the mail, you can sign up with formula companies online. (Similac’s program is called Strong Moms https://similac.com/strongmoms), Enfamil’s program is Family Beginnings https://www.enfamil.com/enrollment).
  2. Ask to speak to the baby formula representative at your pediatrician’s office. The formula representative isn’t allowed to give you free cans of formula directly, but they can order extra packages of formula and send them to the pediatrician, who can then pass them along to you.  These representatives tend to be very helpful and generous towards triplet moms!
  3. Both Similac and Enfamil have a multiples program that will mail you a large case of free formula for each baby. We received three cases of formula (one case for each baby). If you use formula, you will need a lot, so every bit of free formula helps!
  4. Don’t forget to ask if your health insurance covers formula. Especially if your babies are on specialty formula, some insurance companies will consider the formula a type of prescription and will pay for the formula. Many insurance companies also cover the cost of a breast pump.
  5. If you are at a certain income level, you can qualify for WIC (http://www.fns.usda.gov/wic/women-infants-and-children-wic). They provide free formula and free food when you are past the formula stage. 

Baby Gear

  1. Join the Triplet Recycling group on Facebook to find hand me down items in threes. (Search for Triplet Recycling in Facebook Groups). You can buy items that are near you geographically, or some sellers are willing to mail items, depending on the size and cost. If you are looking for something in particular and you don’t see it for sale, it is worth posting on there to see if anyone has that item for sale. 
  2. Amazon has a Warehouse Deal option where they sell items that are like new, but may have damaged packaging or been very lightly used. You can search for lots of baby gear there and could find great discounts. When you are on the amazon site, there is a drop down menu on the search box. The search feature is called “Warehouse Deals.”
  3. Zulily sometimes sells car seats and other baby gear at a very discounted price. One particular brand of car seats that sit 3 across (Diono) sometimes are on sale on Zulily for a very good price. You have to keep up with the sales, but if you are a part of a local mom of multiples group, they will often alert you to a great deal for gear that is great for multiples. I used to think Zulily was only for clothes and luxury kid items, but it’s not. 

Diapers

  1. There is a National Diaper Network (http://nationaldiaperbanknetwork.org/) that may offer assistance for low income families.
  2. Many local churches or charities often have stockpiles of diapers for families in need.
  3. Even if you don’t have a financial need, many churches with nurseries have an excess of diapers from families that go to the church and no longer need a particular size. They probably would gladly give you some of the excess diapers because they are so infrequently needed.

Photo is of the free formula I received from the Similac multiples program.

How do you feed three babies at once?

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If you are bottle feeding, here is how you feed three babies at one time.  Another post will be about breastfeeding.

To get ready for any feeding, I had the following equipment:

  • Pitcher of formula with a large batch of formula mixed for the day
  • Multiple clean bottles (in our case, I had 3 different colored bottles so that I could monitor how much each baby ate easily)
  • boppy pillows and a place to put the babies after feedings were done (like a bouncy seat, swing, car seat, etc.)
  • Burp cloths and bibs
  • Bottle warmer (this is a personal preference and is not necessary)

Newborn stage
In the beginning, most triplets are premature and likely will need extra care and attention while feeding. Many preemies have reflux, which means that the baby will need to be closely watched and likely burped a few times during a feeding to help reduce discomfort from gas and reflux. To feed newborn triplets, you have to have a system in place. (Remember, I’m Type A?) First, it really helps to record the last time the babies were fed. It also helps to keep the babies on the same feeding schedule. Mine came home on a 3 hour feeding schedule from the hospital. That helped me know that if the babies were fed over 2 hours ago and and one or all are starting to act fussy, it’s likely hunger. If your babies come home from the hospital with you, you can still put them on a schedule easily. You just start feeding all three from the get-go, and you start recording the last time they were fed so that you start the next feeding at the 3 hour mark. When they are newborns, it’s very hard to go longer between feedings than a 3 hour stretch. 

If you are alone and need to feed all three babies, I suggest setting a time for the 2 hour mark so you can start preparing bottles and noticing hunger cues from the babies. Once the 2 hour mark is up, if they haven’t started crying, you can start pouring formula in bottles, getting the bottle warmers on, and arranging bibs and burp cloths. You should change and feed the baby that is starting to act uncomfortable or hungry first. The other babies hopefully will sleep while you feed the first. While the first baby is being fed, you should watch for cues from the other two babies for hunger. Once the first baby is fed and burped, you move on to the next baby that seems to be the most uncomfortable. If you aren’t alone and at least one person is there to help, you would take the 2 babies that seem the most hungry. If only one baby is acting hungry, I suggest changing and feeding all three babies in close succession. That allows the babies to get on the same schedule and allows you to have a break in between feedings. It also simplifies the process so that you aren’t constantly keeping track of who you last fed or changed. Record the time you begin feeding the first baby so that if a baby gets fussy, you can see if it could be hunger or something else based upon the last time you fed them. You will be surprised how quickly you forget what time you fed them last— the best bet is to write it down.  The recording doesn’t have to be fancy. It can simply list the time and whether the babies had a wet or poopy diaper.  You can list other details such as how much a baby ate or who ate first, but those details may not matter. The first baby who ate may not be the one acting hungry for the next feed, but that should not matter. Whoever is hungry dictates when the next feed begins for all three babies. 

Infant stage
Once the babies become more efficient eaters, it was a lifesaver for me to prop my babies in a double boppy (I used the TwinZ double boppy) so I could feed 2 at a time and then feed one child solo after the first two were done. I held both bottles for the babies and was constantly monitoring them while I fed them. The moment one of the babies started grunting or acting uncomfortable because of gas, I would stop feeding both and burp both. Again, that eliminated any question on who was fed longer or burped. Once the first two were fed and burped, even if the third was not acting hungry, I would change diapers and feed the third. 

Older infant stage
By 6 months adjusted, one of my triplets could hold his bottle on his own. All three babies were also more efficient eaters and didn’t need to be burped every couple of ounces into a bottle. They could all eat the entire bottle and then be burped once. To feed them alone, I would prop the baby who could hold his bottle in a boppy next to me, and then I would hold the bottles for the other two. Once everyone was done, I would burp once everyone was done. By this time, it took the babies about 6 minutes to eat their bottle and another 5-7 minutes to burp each. That means that for one baby, an entire bottle feeding took only 15 minutes. This is not bad, considering the length of time it took as preemies!

By 9 months adjusted, all three of my triplets could hold their bottles. I still propped them in boppies to eat because it seemed to be more comfortable for them, and I would watch them the entire time they drank. Sometimes one would need their hands repositioned so they weren’t sucking just air.  One could get tired and need me to hold the bottle. But for the most part, by 9 months adjusted, feeding became a much more relaxed endeavor. In fact, my boy triplet hardly needs to be burped anymore because he will finish his bottle, put it aside, start crawling, and burp almost instantly after moving to crawl. It’s great! By 9 months adjusted, our reflux issues have almost disappeared, so in addition to not needing to be burped in between feedings, we don’t have a lot of spitup occurring after a feeding. 

I hope this post gives you hope about feeding. Yes, at the beginning, it seems like all you are doing is feeding babies. But there is a light at the end of the tunnel, and it’s not too far away. Next detailed post…. solid foods!

Things that I Care About as a Type A Mom of Multiples

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Everyone has their pressure points as a mom. There are some things that I care about as a mom that you may or may not agree with. These things are important to me.

First and foremost, a happy mom makes a happy household. If mama ain’t happy, it’s going to be pretty near impossible for the household to be happy. SO… what makes this Type A mom of multiples happy?

  • A clutter free home. Clutter makes me anxious. It makes me unable to concentrate. It stresses me out. I may have 5 kids, and that may mean I have a lot of kids gear, but I still have areas in the house where the kids can roam free because there isn’t clutter everywhere. Even the triplets’ nursery has a very free open carpeted area in the middle so they can play with the toys they choose without chaos. To achieve this clutter free home, I regularly get rid of stuff. The older kids declutter their room every change of seasons. I scan artwork, throw away papers daily and go through my closet seasonally. I throw things away in the hotspots of the house daily. It’s an active process, and it’s something that takes time and thought, but it’s worthwhile to me.
  • A morning routine that includes teeth brushing for everyone, a change of clothes for everyone, and a shower for mom. The shower is more about my mental sanity than the side benefit of cleanliness. The shower gives me a second to relax. It doesn’t have to be long, but even 5 minutes just gives my muscles some time to unwind and I do so much better the rest of the day. I also care that the kids get out of their pajamas and have their teeth clean so they are ready for the day. The day may involve lounging around the house all day, but I still want them to physically acknowledge that the day has started and they have cared for themselves in some way.
  • A planned healthy-ish meal for dinner. I meal plan religiously. I am anxious when I don’t know what we’re having for dinner. I want my kids to sit down to dinner as a family. I want them to have a good square meal before they go to bed, and to know that dinner is going to cap off their day with some family time. That means I meal plan for the week. Sometimes that plan is for takeout and sometimes that plan is to have spontaneity, but there is always some forethought to dinner.
  • A clean home. I want my sink to be empty, I want my bathroom to be clean, I want the kids rooms to be picked up when they aren’t playing, and I want our living room to be in order after we’ve finished playing. The bathroom doesn’t have to be spotless, but it does get cleaned at least every other week (in an ideal world, more often, but truthfully, that doesn’t happen). I don’t need things to shine daily, but I do want a relatively clean home. It may not matter to others, and it may not seem worthwhile to others, but it matters to me. It makes me relax, it makes me able to focus and connect with my kids, and I’ll say it again– a happy mom is a happy household.

What are the things that help keep you sane at home? If you are pregnant, think about those things now, so that when you are in the thick of the first newborn days, you can make a few things your goal for the day. It can be very simple, like having your bed made or a cleared kitchen table. Just one thing accomplished that day can make a world of a difference in your ability to be happy the rest of the day!

Burning Questions After Finding out You’re Pregnant with Triplets

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I wanted to answer some of the burning questions I had when I found out our triplet news. I will expand upon each question in a series of detailed posts. This is literally the post I wanted to read the day I found out I was having triplets. I didn’t want all the details just yet– I needed time to process everything– but this post would have calmed a lot of my initial fears. It would have allowed me to approach my new reality in a more rational and optimistic way. I hope this post allows you to take a deep breath, feel peace, and get excited about your new reality.

  • Will I be up all night feeding three babies in the first few months?

Not exactly. You WILL get some sleep. To get that sleep, you will have to feed all three babies when one baby wakes up hungry.  By doing this, all three babies will get synched on a feeding schedule, and in between that schedule you can sleep.  When my triplets came home, they were 36 weeks gestationally. They ate approximately every 3 hours. That meant I would feed them around 9pm, 12 midnight, 3am, and 6am. I did sleep in between those feedings. Yes, it was fragmented sleep, and yes, those 3am feedings were hard, but I DID sleep.

  • Will all three babies cry at the same time all the time?

My babies rarely cry at the same time. The only time they do cry together is when they are hungry, and that can be easily fixed with bottles. Since the babies are on the same feeding schedule, I can anticipate when they’ll be hungry, and I often am ready for them with bottles so that the simultaneous crying is kept to a minimum. Most of the time, if one baby is crying, the other two are not, and I can tend to that baby.

  • Can I breastfeed triplets?

Yes! It can be done. Some triplet moms exclusively breastfeed triplets for an entire year. Breastfeeding them will involve pumping, alternating who gets to breastfeed versus who gets expressed milk, and potentially some help from lactation consultants if the babies are preemies. But again, it can be done. I breastfed my triplets for 14 months. I had to pump daily and at least 2 of the triplets got expressed breastmilk in a bottle each day (as opposed to nursing), but I am able to produce milk and breastfeed all 3.

  • How do I bathe triplets?

This will vary depending on their age. For newborns, you will bathe each individually. It usually requires 2 people to do. You bathe one baby, hand it off to the other person, then bathe the next, hand it off, and bathe the last. The person receiving the babies should have bottles ready and feed each right after the bath.  If you are alone, you can bathe one baby after the first bottle of the morning, the second baby after the second bottle of the day, and so on.  Generally, I found the best time to bathe newborn triples was when they woke up from a nap and were shortly due for a bottle.We followed the hospital schedule of bathing the triplets every 3 days. Babies don’t need baths daily, and in fact do better if their natural oils are allowed to hydrate their skin between baths. For older triplets, you can bathe them simultaneously, but this probably is best when they can walk and you can safely take them out of the bath and contain them in the bathroom safely while you dry and diaper the other two. My triplets are now 18 months old and I still wait to bathe them either when I have another adult present or when only one baby is awake at a time.

  • How many diapers will I go through?

At the newborn stage, we would go through a minimum of 24 diapers a day. We fed the babies 8 times a day (every 3 hours), and we changed the babies right before we fed them. 8 feedings a day x 3 diaper changes equals 24 diapers. Of course, if a baby had a poopy diaper in between those 8 feedings, we would change them, so the number could go up, but that gives you a general idea of the amount needed for one day.

By the time the babies were about 4 months old (adjusted), my girls were sleeping through the night. That meant that we were down to about 6 feedings a day. 6 feedings a day x 3 diaper changes equals 18 diapers.

By the time the babies were about 6 months old adjusted, our feedings were spaced out to longer than 3 hours a day and they were eating more at each feeding. We were down to 5 feedings a day, and consequently we went through about 15 diapers a day.

Now the babies are 18 months old and we have switched to sippy cups. They are changed about 4 times a day, which usually coincides with the time they are getting their sippy cup of milk (first thing in the morning, after the first and second naps of the day, before dinner). That means we are down to 12 diapers a day.

  • Can you really sleep train with multiples?

Yes! I sleep trained my triplets when they were at an appropriate adjusted age to begin sleep training.  The girls were sleeping through the night by 4 months old adjusted. This meant they went to bed around 5pm and woke up at 6am.  At 4 months, our triplet son woke up once a night, but he also went to bed at the same 5pm bedtime as the girls and only awoke for a “dream feed.” In other words, he just eats and goes straight back to sleep. He has the same healthy sleep habits as the girls in terms of being put down in a crib and not crying when it’s nap or bedtime. He has learned to self soothe and put himself to sleep. So by 4 months we had sleep trained triplets.  This doesn’t mean we had no hiccups (and still do), but it got significantly easier to manage nights after sleep training. (This answer will cause a lot of controversy, I’m sure. I will expand on this post.)

  • How much laundry will I be doing?

You don’t have to do a load of laundry a day when you have triplets. Of course, this all depends on the amount of clothes you have for the triplets, whether you are cloth diapering, and whether your babies have reflux issues. But the truth is, you don’t HAVE to do laundry daily, even if you don’t have a ton of clothes for the triplets. An unexpected benefit of having triplets is that you can have a pretty good sized load quickly. When I had my singleton newborns, I’d wash baby clothes separate from everyone else’s clothes because I was worried about skin sensitivity. As a result, it would take time to amass enough laundry to justify a load for just the baby. With triplets, that load is easily amassed, and at least allows for some efficiency.  I didn’t buy any clothes for the triplets- I had friends who generously gave us hand-me-downs. While I did have changes of clothes for each kid, I didn’t have tons of outfits each, but I still managed to not need to do laundry daily.

  • How do you go up and down stairs with triplets?

Generally, I would carry 2 babies downstairs/upstairs, put them somewhere safe (like strapped in a bouncer, in the crib, etc., and then go get the third baby.  Books will admonish carrying two babies at a time. I understand the risks involved. I’m also trying to preserve some sanity for myself. I chose to carry 2 babies when I could have a good grip on both. That often meant having one baby in a baby carrier so that both my hands could carry the second baby. Some people put the babies in a padded laundry basket when they are newborns. This is something you have to decide for yourself, based on your comfort level and the stairs involved.  But once my babies began crawling, I was more concerned about having eyes on them at all times, which meant having 2 babies carried at the same time to eliminate time that the babies weren’t watched (even if they were in a safe place).

  • Do I have to buy a new car to fit 3 car seats across?

The Car Seat Lady has a good post about fitting three car seats across. I know many triplet moms who didn’t have to buy a new car.  Personally, we had 2 other children already, so we needed to buy a minivan to accommodate 5 children.

  • Will I have a free moment to do anything else- even chores like cooking meals or fun things like playing with my other kids?

Yes! I’ve had time to do other things. I’ve read books, I’ve gone to my daughter’s field day at elementary school, I’ve gone to the gym, taken naps, even gone on dates with my husband. I clean my house and cook dinner almost every night. All of this takes planning and time, but I’m Type A so planning is my jam.  I’ve recorded time logs when the triplets were 4 months adjusted, 9 months adjusted, and 14 months adjusted. The logs showed that I was sleeping a decent amount of time even at 4 months old and I had time for lots of other things too. 

What other burning questions do you have??? Write in the comments! I’ll happily respond and expand upon this post!

What Does it Mean to be a Type A Mom of Multiples?

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Type-A personalities are known to be driven, ambitious, organized, and competitive.  A Type-A mom of multiples has these characteristics and also has multiple children– twins, triplets, or more. Nothing screams “loss of control” more to new parents than having more than one newborn baby.  Type-A moms do not like the prospect of losing control. Type-A moms want to plan, prepare, anticipate and be in charge of their environment, even when there are multiples involved.

I am a Type-A mom of triplets with two singleton kids.  Being a Type-A mom with that many kids can seem like a blessing and a curse.  The thought of five kids running around my home vying for my attention is anxiety provoking. When I was pregnant with the triplets, I envisioned the opening scene of Home Alone with chaos, screaming kids, frazzled parents and a messy home. I used to feel ashamed that I am not able to be more laid back and allow more mess and pandemonium in my home. But being Type-A is also a blessing.  I don’t run out of household supplies because I have a system in place to order them before it becomes a problem. I don’t forget appointments for any of my kids because I have a calendar for the family that is regularly updated and checked. If I have important things that must be done, I have a system of reminders so that I can’t forget to do them at the appropriate time. Our house is generally not a terrible mess.  Don’t get me wrong- I have days where the dishes pile in the sink, there is no food for dinner, and I have to run out and get a last minute item for the next school day. But this is not the norm in our home. Our house is generally tidy and the kids are on a predictable schedule.  We are not like the disheveled, forgetful family in Home Alone. Even though we have 5 kids, because there is predictability, I am able to spend quality time with each kid individually. Because I am not drained by a messy house, I can focus on the kids and actively connect with them when we play together. I am no longer ashamed to say that I am a Type-A mom, because it has allowed me to flourish in an otherwise daunting reality.

What does it mean to be a Type-A mom of multiples? It means you are specially equipped to handle multiples. I hope this blog gives Type-A moms encouragement and hope through concrete examples of how you can plan, prepare, and manage life with twins, triplets, and more. You have the power to enjoy this experience immensely! I’ll show you how that can be done.